APOLYCABOWL by Kurt Lewis
Why do we call it ‘THE SUPER BOWL’? I know it is the big championship game with colorful half time shows from classic music acts; overly expensive special effects; overly expensive sometime good other time bad ads but really, this is worthy of ‘SUPER BOWL’. Super means beyond ordinary. Honestly I just watch it for the ads. Nice to see creativity in the ad campaigns in resurrecting old icons with a sprinkle of pop culture in there forgetting what was being sold. Sometimes we even see a trailer for a potentially awesome movie that will be released when outside calls itself summer. What a tease but works to get us geeks excited.
Cannot even tell you the last time I noticed who actually won ‘THE SUPER BOWL’ and why on Earth is that term copy righted. I mean it a lot of businesses call it ‘The Big Game’ Sounds like a generic toy you buy at the dollar store not attractive. Got to make cash I guess. We need to amp up this side show by a lot. It is not super enough. So little action and way way too much talking. We have eyes, it is a visual sport we do not need to be told what we are looking at. Shut up and watch be amused. Speaking of being amused I have a few ideas on how we can make this a ‘SUPER BOWL’.
The stadium needs to be shaped like a real. It is false advertising calling it a bowl when nothing is round or oval. The teams should be in mech suits armed to the teeth. Forget the run of the mill players. This is for all the marbles people. The players should be beyond special. Super intelligent kangaroos; cyborgs; flying dolphins; perhaps sentient trees? Last man standing Iron man battle. Four-hour time limit with points awarded for eliminations and goals. Whoever after the time limit expires has anyone or the most left wins.
Time travel should be an option. For the amount that seats cost, rumored $4, 000 to $9, 000, we should be able to have historical locations for the game. In fact, open commentary and performer option to historical acts; Laurel and Hardy; The Beatles; William Shakespeare or even Harry Houdini. Not everyone has to sing you know. This special affair should not only be available to the dead we should look to the past for prime competition.
Open it to free agents, alive or dead, pluck them from the grave for experience or out of time for peak performance. Flight or a motor cycle should be an option to get from side to side of the field. Could be a power up bonus pack. Dropping the spheres from the zeppelin releasing their pay load on impact. No bombs, again non-lethal explosives and fireworks will be built into the field.
The football should be alive with both teams needing to use mental thought to gain control of it. The field should be a battle field full of traps; explosives and turf that will fight back. The end zones should be defended by robots with built armaments. The coaches should operate them by remote so not to endanger lives since it may be possible to destroy the giant robots.
They must be giants. Have a zeppelin fly across dropping power up for the players.
Invincible power; fire or ice power who be random but thrilling. To make the game more interesting, put a pit in the middle of the field with a couple sea monsters that can torment the players. Non-lethal sea monsters of course I mean this still broadcast TV we have to be general audience. Bonus point for subduing the monsters who are self-regenerating of course.
Half time show should be classic music acts that are actually dead. Yes, to be called ‘SUPER BOWL’ we need to resurrect the legends to perform at this event. The acts do not get bad anyway so it is a win win. Dead people don’t ask for anything in return probably be grateful to stretch the old limbs a bit.I know what you are saying this is way too expensive to do for one show. Marketing and advertising people. Slap ads on the sea monsters; the zeppelin; the robots; and have the dead and time anomalies do some product placements. Yes, this could cause some time paradoxes that could eradicate time and civilization as we know it but we need to pay to keep the lights on.
We need to put side the potential offense to God with reanimating corpses but again we will rock YouTube; Facebook; twitter; the bootleg market and DVD sales. Huge people this will be huge.You know many more beverages; snacks; cars and pyramid schemes you could sell with this? Let’s us go farther have the products be fed into your mind via Virtual Reality chips in the actual chips. The can coke or plate carrying your pizza can conduct a survey as you are enjoying said product pumping coupons into your brain. That is marketing done the crazy way. You are welcome, HA.